Hello Everyone!

Hi my name is Renee, and I just wanted to say hello to everyone. I am a huge Michael Jackson fan, and have been one since I was about 3 or 4 years old. It was probably about the time his "Off the Wall" album came out. (I know I'm dating myself a bit in time, lol). I am grateful for this forum, thanks Valerie! I also have also been analyzing my feelings about Michael since his passing (I still can't bring myself to speak the "D" word). And have written a few things on a couple of websites about my feelings concerning him. He was an amazing man, and everyday I find out something new about him, or some good thoughts about him confirmed over and over again. I have also made new friends of fellow fans as well, and it has been a life changing experience. I only wish this had happened while he still drew breath upon this earth though. I really do.

More about me personally, I am a Family Historian/Genealogist, (it's really a hobby), and a writer. I'm really a student taking at home courses. I love music, especially Michael's music, and the music of Motown and the "60's groups from that era. I also enjoy reading books, hiking, spending time with family and friends, going to Church. And of course talking about and thinking of Michael. I surely wish he was still here, I really do. I truly wish it hadn't taken his passing for me to really grasp how amazing he was before that. You see I had always loved him, but not at the level I realized I could have, and that is a very painful feeling and thought to have. I truly felt I let him down, even if things still went down the same way, at least I would know that he knew I cared about all the things he went through and how much I appreciated him...but now is the time to honor his memory, and to cherish what he left us with us, and that is what I intend to do now.

Know one thing-- YOU DID NOT let Michael down. I believe pain in the heart is one of the most beautiful things you can feel, for it is the only feeling of knowing YOU are alive because nothing else breaks but the heart in this world...but Michael loves you, and it does not matter what level of love existed while he was alive, as long as he can see you love him now that is ALL that should matter

LoveForMJJ4Ever wrote:Know one thing-- YOU DID NOT let Michael down. I believe pain in the heart is one of the most beautiful things you can feel, for it is the only feeling of knowing YOU are alive because nothing else breaks but the heart in this world...but Michael loves you, and it does not matter what level of love existed while he was alive, as long as he can see you love him now that is ALL that should matter

Thank you so much Valerie for your encouraging comments, and what you said really does make me feel better about loving him period not just when he was here but today, and to know that he loves me too is so comforting as well. I do believe he feels that way about all of us, thanks again!

Anytime, I am glad it made you feel better

I have to agree and add to what Valerie said. Do not ever think you let Michael down. I think to Michael, it didn't matter how much you loved, but that you did love him. He loved all of his fans, because they loved and supported him. Michael was all about L.O.V.E. And, you loved him. That's all that mattered. And you love him now.

Rpoppert wrote:I have to agree and add to what Valerie said. Do not ever think you let Michael down. I think to Michael, it didn't matter how much you loved, but that you did love him. He loved all of his fans, because they loved and supported him. Michael was all about L.O.V.E. And, you loved him. That's all that mattered. And you love him now.

EXACTLY!